He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
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so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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