who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize