last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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