i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize