An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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