I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize