quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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