I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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