I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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