yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize