A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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