Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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