Got a toothbrush?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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