Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
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Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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