You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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