So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize