tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize