If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize