i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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