i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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