we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize