Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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