Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize