His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize