I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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