that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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