I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize