Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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