You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
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Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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