just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize