i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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