i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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