just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize