Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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