i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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