you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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