Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize