So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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