oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize