he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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