on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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