i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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