lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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