i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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