have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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