My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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