I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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