i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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