I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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