Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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